Alright, you may be asking yourself "what is this default stuff" and what does it have to do with me? Maybe nothing. Keep an open mind until the end of my writing this month and decide then.

Our computers have default settings. You have selected a default printer and you no doubt have made default choices for email. You may be surprised to know that we have default patterns in our lives as well.

In my over 28+ years in business and training I have met many people who noticed that they would achieve a certain level of success and then fall back. They would see that certain aspects of their lives had a tendency to repeat themselves. I noticed that these people shared a common thread. They were repeating old behaviors and expecting different results. Do you notice that bad relationships are repeating? Do you notice that you continue to attract negative people in your life? Does your life contain all of some of the following patterns? One bad job after another? One bad boss after another? One good year, one bad, one good month, one bad, you get the picture I'm sure. Chances are you are defaulting into an old behavior pattern. Dieters know what I am talking about. They lose ten pounds and a few months later they gain it back. Along the line they "defaulted" to an old behavior. At least with weight you get to see that you are repeating old patterns. In our relationships, our business and our lives it's not as easy to see.

Some of the people I met are "victims." They thought that they were at the effect of their lives not the creator of their circumstances. Yet some of the people were taking responsibility for their lives and still they could not see that they were defaulting back to old, non-productive behaviors. Taking responsibility for your life is a good first step to preventing "the default" mode. It's not enough. Most people are asleep, not awake, to the patterns that are repeating, never mind the behavior! They can't see the forest for the trees. Here are some steps that you can take if you think you might have a default program going on from time to time in your life.

1. Every six months or so make a list of what is showing up in your life. Look for frustration. Repeating bad relationships, one good month, one bad, one good hire, one bad, Three good years, three bad, continual customer or employee turnover, etc, etc. Remember to list all the good results as well.

2. Be honest. List all the behaviors that got you the results in Step 1. Try to remember the attitude or state of mind you were in when you were getting the results you wanted. List the behaviors that got you the negative results and again try to remember that state of mind as well.

3. Take responsibility for all the results you are getting. You are the creator of them! I have worked with many individuals or business owners who were not getting the results they wanted and they were blaming others! You are the cause!

4. Take action! The best way to stay awake is to take action! Once you spot the pattern by taking inventory, get moving. Let's say you notice that you are attracting negative people into your life (like I was.) First, speak up! "Ask and you shall receive." Tell the negative nay bobs that if they do not have anything positive to share, to keep it to themselves. That if they are not going to help, then get out of the way. If that doesn't work then do whatever it takes to get them out of your life! Dissolve partnerships, separate, break away, buy them out, or get divorced! Do what ever it takes. Next, before you take a new course, look at your list in Step two and go back to the behaviors you had when your results were in line with your expectations.

5. Give yourself permission to succeed! If you are noticing that you can't seem to move past a particular plateau or you notice negative patterns repeating, chances are you are sabotaging your own success. We do that by unconsciously slipping back to old behaviors because our sub-conscious is telling us "hey, you're the kid from xxxx, you can't succeed" or " you, an author, no way!" It's amazing that it's our own program.

6. Fulfill your longing. If you do not honor your longing, frustration will keep appearing in your life until you do! Frustration is a gift from Divine Source, the Universe. It keeps showing up until you honor your gifts and talents and do what is yours to do. Be grateful for it! But step out from behind the curtain and take the risk to do what you are longing to do.

7. Once you declare what it is that's yours to do, get going! Do not wait! Persist through the doubt and naysayers! Walt Disney went bankrupt six or seven times. Imagine how many people around him were saying he was a failure behind his back or even to his face! Chances are that those people are dealing with their own failure! People who would criticize you for risking and failing are probably not taking many chances in their own lives. Remember, just as all the people in your life are a mirror showing you, you. You are a mirror showing all your critics themselves! I wonder if Walt said to himself after the fourth or fifth bankruptcy, "Hey, hang in there, you're only a couple more bankruptcies away from success!" Most of us would quit pursuing our dreams after just one failure like that. We are not trained how to deal with failure properly (until now anyway, more on my program to help you later)! Failure is learning, period! Those who are not failing are not risking! If you all go out over the next few weeks and interview people you know are successful, they will tell you that they persisted through more than one failure on their path. When you are driving a car, would you get where you were going if you kept your eyes strictly on the rear view mirror? Hardly! It's the same with your life. Keep your eyes on where you are going and I say rip out the rear view mirror.

8. Get coaches or get into a training program that will help you stay awake. I have coaches that helped me make my recent transition to creating my own program. They helped me see what was stopping me! It was only me, stopping me! I am enrolled in a training program for seven years. I have almost completed two years. I notice that from time to time my default behavior pops up. My brain says "Quit this training. Who commits to seven years? Only nutty people do!" I do not listen to these voices. I have learned that if I want to have a future, unlike the past, I have to have new behaviors. I am staying.

9. BE GRATEFUL FOR WHERE YOU ARE!

This is the strongest message and lesson. You cannot get to where you are going without taking this road! Remember, a different road, a different destination! It is all a wonderful gift!

The next time you reach for a doughnut, think "Is this the beginning of a default pattern?"